Tuesday, January 31, 2006

30-Second Bunny Theatre

you think I'm joking...
hehe... go ahead... click it...

This 'n That

Sucks and Rocks

I've been finding loads of great bargains at Barnes and Noble recently. That rocks. Getting behind on utility bills after Christmas? That sucks. James Blunt rocks. Black Eyed Peas' My Humps sucks. Blogging with all you ladies rocks. Breaking my old online posse from the FoRT sucks.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Ah, my dear brother, Wayne. Where do I begin?

Wayne is a year younger than I am, and when we were boys, we were inseparable, like so many brothers were.

When we were in high school, we started down different paths. I became more quiet, thoughtful, reflective (if you can believe that), and he became more outgoing, loud, brash. Yes, he's louder and brasher than I am, than you would imagine me to be in real life.

I attended journalism school first at San Diego State then later back home at San Jose State. I eventually landed a job in IT. Wayne graduated from Berkeley then did his post-grad at Harvard, majoring in Public Policy studies. Today, he heads a charity for families in crisis in New York City.

We're neither close geographically nor emotionally. I regret that. Each and every one of my male friends (who has a brother) claims to be closer to no one else in the entire world. They would literally kill or die for their brothers.

Some days, I think back to those days that seem so long ago now, the long afternoons stretching into dusk, when I furiously pedaled my bicycle down the street, the houses passing by in a blur on either side of me, the wind whipping at my face like sandpaper, and I think about looking over and seeing my brother at my side. Even if he's no longer there by my side, it doesn't change the fact that I, too, would kill or die for him.

Curriculum Vitae

Discount Store Clerk. My first first job (that is, where someone deigned to pay me for the tasks I performed) was at a five-and-dime store--TG&Y/Newberry, to be precise. At the end of my first day, another clerk and I were appointed the glamorous task of taking all the store garbage out to the Dumpster behind the store. It was so full that my co-worker told me to jump inside and tamp the garbage down before we could unload more garbage. I lasted a week.

Video Store Clerk. It seemed like the perfect job for my college years. I loved movies, and the freebies appealed to me. Free movie rentals? Sign me up! I lasted nearly a year, and I can't believe I did. By the end of the year, I learned another important lesson: I learned to hate people.

Various temp positions. My next foray into the job market was as a temp. I did it all--HR, legal, office manager. My experience proved to be a valuable lesson in navigating office politics.

IT Systems Engineer. My current job is in "IT"--information technology. It's basically a fancy way of saying I'm the "computer guy."

Monday, January 30, 2006

R/S contribution, kari style...

what rocks?

finally catching up on blogging/blog reading.

what sucks?

not being paid to do so.

R/S

I was gone all weekend, but here's my R&S contribution! Sorry so late.

What rocked (this weekend): It was my brother's birthday all weekend; he called it Angelpalooza. It was tons of fun, and I met the cutest guy, who proposed marriage to me!! It was hilarious. So cute.

What sucked: Said cute guy doesn't have a visa to cross to the US since he's recently moved to Tijuana after living in Guadalajara for over 10 yrs. I live in the US side. Aww. Also, sucks I have to be at work because I am SUPER TIRED!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I keep rereading this article and asking myself if I would take one. Would you?

R S

It Rocks that my sisiter and my best friend are coming to visit next weekend

It sucks that i have 3 tests next week

Saturday, January 28, 2006

R & S

It rocks that it's the weekend and I will have all of Saturday morning to myself and I will spend the time reading in peace.

It sucks that sometimes we have to make hard choices.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Rocks & Sucks

What Rocks?
It rocks that it is Friday because I am so tired. It rocks that I am finished with my freelance job (almost). It rocks that when I came home today Patrick had cleaned up so nice so I can relax tonight. It rocks that I have a cheap-ass totinos pizza in the freezer with my name on it.

What Sucks?
I have tons of work to do and twice that in personal plans & endeavors. I have to update my website and portfolio for job-hunting. I have no money until Tuesday.

Rocking and sucking

What Rocks:
It's Friday, I'm off for the weekend and I had a really good week in my RN school clinicals. Oh and my four year old is going to my Mom's for the weekend.

What Sucks:
I have homework, I have no plans for this weekend, If I nothing comes up, I'm stuck cleaning my house.

Rocks and Sucks

What rocked this past fortnight was meeting my first non-friend-from-round-the-corner blogger(Stolie), catching up with friends, going to the NME tour to see We Are Scientists, Arctic Monkeys and Maximo Park

What sucked was a close friend being miserable due to breaking up with her boyfriend, being sick, saying goodbye to a friend, realising that I haven't blogged in a fortnight and I have to start classes on Monday.

What's rocked and sucked in your world recently?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

man...

you're sick for a couple of days and all of a sudden there are 9 million posts :)

heehee...

nobody get offended kay...

I love this whole open post forum... and the message board like sharing... but might I make a little observation... I've noticed that some of the posts are rather long... not that this is a bad thing... I'm pretty long winded myself sometimes...

but some peeps who aren't involved as team members have mentioned that reading the stuff on here is very time consuming and takes way longer than a normal break at work...

I'm going to try and make any posts I make a little smaller than I normally would... and I'm not telling anyone to change the way they blog... but unless you check back after every post... I can definately see how this can be seen as a long read :) and smaller posts are easier to digest in the short amount of time that many of us have while at work... just my $0.02

Some pics of my brother...

The post about my brother was fairly long, so rather than editing it and adding these pics, I created a new post. Hope that's ok. I also may edit this and add a couple pics I haven't scanned.

Baby Angel, and me ~age 2.5.


My mom, me ~age 4.5, my brother.


At Disneyland, Splash Mountain, sometime in 04 I think. Ignore the front 2 people (strangers). Actually look at front guy's arms, he's holding on TIGHT! After that it's my mom, me and at the very back my brother. He said it was very hard to stay in the pose the whole way down haha.


At his birthday last year (05).


And this is what he looks like now...


I personally liked the mohawk better... And no, that's not a wig! =S

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Family


Diana, Andrew, James, and Me on Christmas Eve Liz wasn't there sad : (

I am pretty excited about this because I love love LOVE my siblings they are just the best. I have four siblings Elizabeth, 26, who is married to a really great guy is living in Salt Lake City, Utah in married student housing at the University of Utah while her husband works/ goes to school she is a nurse and is currently at a dialysis clinic. My brother james is 24 going to Brigham Young University-provo and i have a feeling he will be getting engaged here pretty quick, he is in his last semester is majoring in Chinese and plans to attend law school. My other sister Diana, 20, is at the University of Utah studying Library Science but plans to change that i believe she has great style and wonderful taste in music. My little bro Andrew is 17 and a junior in high school he is quite active in student government and is quite the lady charmer i hear and he obviously hates pants teehee . I love my family imiss them all so much some of my fondest memories are of all of us staying up late in my big brothers room talking about everything under the sun i have a beautiful and intelligent family and i am proud of them!!

My brother, the Angel (literally his name)

I have 1 younger brother. His name is José Angel, which was also my late dad's name. He is a bit over 2 yrs younger than me, born on Jan 27 1981. He goes by Angel (Spanish pronunciation Ahn-hell). Like I said, literally an Angel. That's what everyone thinks at least. I was the black sheep in my house. I did well in school, although he didn't, but conduct-wise I was the rebel, while he was moreconformingg. We're more even now haha.

In the beginning, I didn't want a sibling. I was very happy being an only child. When he was born, I wanted my parents to give him away. "Why don't we throw him in the trash, daddy? Mom won't notice!"... Um, I guess she would, or so my dad said. Why would anyone notice he was missing? He didn't do anything of importance, just lied there, cried and whined about everything. He wore diapers until he was like 3 yrs old! Big baby.

He used to follow me everywhere. Sometimes it was nice not to have to look for a playmate, but I'd get sick of him quickly. "MOoooomm, Angel is following me again!!". I guess that's a little brother's job, to follow around his big sister. My parents insisted that it was because he admired me so. I thought he was very annoying. Plus, if he ever did something wrong (which, to his credit, wasn't often), it'd be MY fault, because I'm OLDER and I should've known better. Hello? I'm not THAT much older... Geez. Once, he got the mumps while we were jumping up and down on a bed at my grandma's house. He fell off the bed and his neck started swelling up. So of course, I was accused of throwing him off the bed and that was why his neck was swollen. Nevermind that I didn't push him at all, and that his neck was swelling due to the mumps. Adorable, sweet little Angel had been bullied by evil Leonora once again! Eventually, the whole thing was cleared but no one said "We're so sorry to have accused you..." Bleh. I'm over it. Sorta. Ha.

Although he was annoying, we had a lot of friends in common. I was a bit of a tomboy; though I always liked dolls, I also loved Nintendo, Legos, Tinkertoys, and Thundercats. He had a lot of boy friends my age, so I'd tag along with them. Our neighbors across the street, one brother was my age, and the other was my brother's age. Ironically, I got along better with the younger one, and my brother with the older one. Another boy, Miguel, lived 2 blocks over. Ooh I liked him so! SO CUTE. We'd think of ways of distracting my brother so we could be alone. I was 9 yrs old by the way...

I used to beat him up all the time. Isn't that what older siblings do? My parents would warn me that one day he'd get bigger and hit me back. HA! That little rat? He'll never be bigger than me... (Ooops, he is though. 6'2 to my 5'9. And he DID hit me back once. OUCH!).

After my parents divorced, my brother and I would spend the night with my dad almost every Saturday. Sunday morning we'd get up early and have breakfast. Honestly, having my brother there made the divorce easier. It was like 2 families... My mom, my brother and I. My dad, my brother and I. My brother and I were the constant in those 2 equations.

Even so, during junior high school and especially during high school, I basically pretended I didn't have a brother. I was much more interested in making out with my boyfriend, and going out with my friends, than whatever he was doing.

During this time that I was ignoring my brother, he became cool. WHat?! How did this happen?? I was so busy with my boyfriend that I didn't notice. But he slowly acquired friends and more friends, while I was just with the one boyfriend. After I broke up with that boyfriend, I had another one. Meanwhile, my brother made more friends.

One time, after I had moved to San Diego, broke up with any boyfriend I might've had, and was all depressed and lonely, I attended my brother's birthday. This is when I saw the multitude of friends he had acquired. How many people can my mom's house fit?? We stayed up until 9am the next morning, and I couldn't believe how much fun I'd had with my little, annoying brother and his friends. They were so much fun!

These days, my brother and I get along so great. I'm good friends with some of his friends, and when I hang out with them I don't feel like an annoying little sibling tagging along with her cooler brother. I love him so much, and I no longer wish I was an only child =p He's a really cool brother to have, and not just socially cool, but an overall great person.

He currently lives with my mom, in the house we were raised in. Though no longer in the same house, we're very close. I think it's BECAUSE we're not in the same house haha. He is gonna be 25 in 2 days (I can't believe he passed my age! LOL, I kid but some people do believe he is older than me, he's physically a lot bigger than I am now), and graduated from college this past December. I'm so proud of that little bugger! And I'm very excited about his party! They are always tons of fun. It's gonna be a whole weekend of celebration, since it is the big 2-5.

If you wanna see my annoying, wonderful little brother, visit his blog. It's in mostly Spanish, but he has a ton of pics.

Siblings

Siblings? Wow, this post might be long for me.

I am the oldest of 5. I was raised with my oldest younger sister, now 27 years old. She is....to put it gently...a little psycho. I love her and she has many good qualities, but I honestly believe she may have a personality disorder or two. She's on her 5th pregnancy with her new fiance. The first three, my two adorable nieces and nephew are in the custody of their father in Virginia. The fourth nephew was given up for adoption at birth. I unfortunately have little contact with the older as I think they are afraid since me and my sister are live so close together down here in TX that I might give their information to her.

You see, She's really flaky, irresponsible, lies a lot, and so much more. Actually, come to think of it, she may be bipolar but I'm no doctor. Anyway, She lives a couple hours from me and after a year of taking care of her and her bills when she lived with me, I'm done. I'm hoping this new Fiance loves her as much as I think he does and he'll be able to take her and her issues on. Her occupation lately has been in the restaurant biz, but she never keeps a job more then 6 months.

My second sibling is 20, she lives in VA. She's actually not my relative by blood but my Dad started dating her mom when she was pregnant and single so, my Dad after marrying, adopted her. She's always known my Dad has her Dad so I've always thought of her as more of a half sister. I just found out YESTERDAY that she married her what I thought was just a boyfriend on New Years eve. I came across her website by accident yesterday and saw Wedding photos. SHOCK! She's majoring in child physiology and loves kids. But she won't be getting anything off her registry from me. j/k but it would've been nice to have at least gotten a call about it. ;)

My two youngest are my brothers. One is 14, he'll be 15 in 2 weeks. He stands 6 feet 4 inches tall. which is totally not fair since I'm only 5 foot. (well 4 Ft 11 and 3 quarters, heehee) Other then that he looks most like me and has a good voice for singing like me. He also plays guitar. He wants to be a Movie director when he grows up.

My youngest brother is a whopping 20 years younger then me at age 10. He's really into sports, music, and nature. He wants to own a zoo. (I think it's cute that zookeeper is not enough, he wants to OWN it) He's a character.

Siblings

Do you have any brothers and sisters? Are you close geographically and emotionally?

I have one brother. He lives about 20 miles away. He is younger than I am by 3 and a half years. He is the director of a radiology department in a big hospital. He is also a firefighter. He's a rabid Eagles (football) fan and is extremely depressed right now. He is married for the second time, has two daughters, a grandson and a little dog that looks like Toto but acts like a hound from hell. My brother likes really nice things. He has a Hemi, a hottub and a huge house.

We don't see each other alot because we are all so busy and we don't actually have much in common, but we are always laughing when we are together. We'd kill for each other and emergencies mean we drop everything and join forces.

When we were small (me ten, he six and a half and a ten year old friend of mine) our mother took us to the movies at the Army base near by. Tickets cost 50 cents for children. Movie rating systems were uncommon. We went to see a movie with religious overtones. Beautiful scenery (southern mountains and swamps) and interesting banjo music, along with new and unusual characters littered the screen.

"Sue-ee, sue-ee." (Movie)

"Mommy, what is that man doing?" (My brother)

"Don't look!" (My mother with not enough hands to cover all of our eyes.)

We often torture our mother with our Deliverence story, telling her it's a good thing no one knew what child abuse was back then.

Every once in awhile, when we sit across from each other at a dinner table (someone's birthday or at a fine restaurant) one of us will take a mouthful of food, get the other's attention, then open our mouth with a chewy mess inside. This has to be done so only he or I see. Special.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Jobs I've Had

1.) Hand-painting figurines assembly line style. This SUCKED. I was 17 and there was a bunch of old ladies yawing about their boring lives. I got paid jack-shit and I had to SIT for hours on end. I quit after two days.

2.) J.C. Penny - Men's Department

3.) Auburn University Large Animal Clinic Pharmacy - this one was interesting. It was a student workstudy deal and it's the closest thing to a scientific job I'll ever have. I had to fill syringes, count horse pills, stock shelves, it was pretty cool though. The grossest thing I ever had to do is help harvest horse plasma. Here's the deal: A vet hands you a big 5lb bag of fresh horses blood (it's still warm, mind you). You put that in the freezer. When it cold, it separates into red cells, white cells, and plasma. They harvested their own plasma because it is very, very expensive. Once I came really close to a big mistake. I put a narcotic into a bag of fluids instead of sodium. They are both clear liquids, but I caught my mistake on time. Sometimes it would get quite hectic in there.

4.) Fashion Bug

5.) Silvewear - it was a kiosk in the mall. It was SO easy.

6.) Fashion Bug again

7.) T-Mobile cell phones - back then it was Powertel/Voicestream. I sucked ass at selling cell phones. I am not a convincing retail person for the most part.

8.) Alabama Cooperative Extension System - this was my first graphic design job. I liked it for the most part. I got to work for Alabama 4-H a lot and I'm a fan of 4-H because I was a part of all that for many, many years.

9.) Art Coordinator, Auburn University - This is my current job. I'm basically an art director for the centralized creative services unit for the entire university. There are two other designers in the unit and I am the low man on the totem pole. But I LOVE this job. I get to do a lot of fun stuff. It keeps you young living in a college town.

Jobs of death

1- paper girl for the Deseret News in Salt Lake. Me and my little brother shared a route of about 30 papers for almost five years starting when i was in seventh grade probbaly my favorite job so far. Me and my brother would walk around the block together it was definitely a good bonding experience and in my opinion one of the reasons we are still close.

2-Papa Murphy's Pizza I only stayed here for three months we were understaffed it was awful not to mention it was impossible to get the stench of pizza out of your hands whithout making a paste of backing soda and lemon juice and leaving it on your hands for five minutes bleck gross.

3- The Chocolate Covered Wagon a chocolate store near my home run by a beast of a woman named Cindy who was so sugary sweet one minute and a freaking nut case the next you were always on your toes. I wish i had a picture of her. That lasted about 6 months

4- My last job was pretty decent, I worked for the State of Utah's Risk Management scanning insurance claims into a database. This was my first full time job and let me tell you scanning fro 8 hours a day five days a week the summer before i had to grow up and leave home did not leave me happy. On the upside it paid incredibly well at 10 dollars an hour and with the money i purchased my lovely computer as well as my ipod, so it was definitely worth it.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

My 4 jobs

I've had, in my lifetime, 14 jobs from the age of 15 until now (30).
I'll write about the most interesting.
My 4 jobs:
1. I worked at a daycare/"montesourri" for 6 weeks following graduation from high school. It didn't take me long to figure out that they were NOT a montesourri (there was no educating) but just a daycare, they had unsafe furniture (cribs with nails sticking out) and they broke ratio requirements twice on me before I up and quit. The second occurrence they left me with 23 children (of all ages infants to pre-schoolers) by myself when the other staff called in and they didn't bother to replace them. I was having a nervous breakdown by the time the manager finally dragged her ass to work. The owner tried to withhold my last paycheck (for quitting without 2 weeks notice). I had my friend call and pretend to be my lawyer and all of a sudden my check cleared. They were shut down by the health department a few months later.

2. My first real training in waitressing was at Jim's coffeehouse and diner. Southern food, cheap coffee, open all night. I worked the graveyard shift. I got the job because me and my friends were in our "slacker" phases and spent every night there. We were the regulars. We would come in about 10pm, buy a $1.00 cup of coffee and stay there all night smoking and having in depth discussions over nothing really important. After awhile, when I needed a better paying job, I asked the manager there for one and I was hired. I ran into an old High school friend there, who became a regular, and then asked me out. He later became my husband, and then my late husband. Jims is the reason my blog is titled Coffee & conversation in a smoky room.
Did anyone see Reality Bites? The characters' lifestyle in that movie was VERY much like mine then. *sigh* I kinda miss it.

3. I worked at Casino Magic in Shreveport,LA. I knew the restaurant manager there who hired me, since I had waitress/server experience. It was a good job, good pay, also the grave yard shift. The pay was minimum wage which is twice what most servers get. That was good because about 50% of our tables were patrons eating with Complimentary tickets and had spent all their money in the casino. They ranged from little old ladies with nothing better to do with their free time, the middle class crying into their free dinners saying they couldn't go home to their spouses and tell them they just spent all their life savings, to the High rollers who always tipped very well and wanted very little. I got employee of the month at this job, promoted to Bartender/room service coordinator. I got to take room service orders from Debbi Reynolds, Little Richard, and The Pointer sisters. It was fun. I quit that one when I moved back to Austin. They are now named Boomtown USA.

4. The hospital I work at now. I'm loyal to the unit I work on. I have the same boss who hired me as the unit clerk back in 2000. She and my other co-workers stuck by me through my pregnancy and my husband's illness. They threw me baby showers and donated PTO (Paid time off) when I needed to take off for his treatments. I had to quit when he became terminal and I had a newborn also. I came back when I had a break in Nursing school in 2004, same boss, same co-workers. It was like I never left. It's a good company to work for and with a lot of our patients being the homeless/psych hospital transfer variety, It is never dull. I can't wait to graduate in May and promote to RN.

My four jobs

I've only had four jobs! Ironic.

1) First job: Cashier/Server @ Haagen Dazs/TCBY/Mrs. Fields. A concession at the San Diego International Airport (Lindbergh Field). Owned by my aunt Victoria, otherwise I'd have lasted 2 hrs. Instead, I was there off and on (mostly on) for 3 yrs. I started late Dec 1997; I was 19. I forget how I was conned into working there, and with my AUNT... Let's just say she's not easy to work for, or with. But I was forced to get a job because I ran up the phone bill really high and my mom got mad. Oops. Where I come from, kids don't get jobs until they're out of college, or maybe in college they may work in something related to the major. But other than that, getting a job to have spending money is practically unheard of. This is why my first job was until I was 19. Back to the job... The good stuff was being able to eat a lot of ice cream, frozen yogurt, and cookies. Also, the assistant manager was cute, and I had a crush on him the entire time I worked there (but we never went out boo). The bad stuff was gaining about 25 lbs in about 2 months (weirdly, though, a YEAR after I started... huh?), and the fact that I just do not have the personality to work in food services and for people. I hate people basically. I think they're all idiots. Except me, of course. And you guys haha. Well I don't know you, but you seem nice. But seems like the moment someone becomes my customer, they lose IQ points within seconds. I'm very impatient, and suck at being fake-nice, so that was definitely not the job for me.

2) Second job: Knowing I suck at customer service, I went and got another CS job. This time at an outbound call center called Newgen. Located in the Mira Mesa area of San Diego. This job sucked so much, but it was really good money. I averaged about $11/12 an hour, and worked about 6 hrs a day, from 7am to 1pm. This was good money for a student back in 2000. The job was making courtesy reminder calls to people who needed to service their vehicle, on behalf of the dealership where they bought it. People would sign up for this, but oh how quickly they forgot. "Where did you get this number?" "Who is this??" "How do you know what kind of car I drive??" "I don't have a 1998 F150!! Oh, you mean the black truck?? Who knows when it was last serviced, they said not to worry for 30K miles!!!". Yep, that was said to me on a daily basis. I ended up being, um, "let go"... because I told some dude that he was being difficult for no reason and he didn't like that. So he tattled on me. Oops. Ah well, that job was like drugs... I wouldn't have left it until I was forced to, even though it was hurting me so. I also really liked my coworkers so they made it more bearable. I lasted a little under 2 yrs.

3) Third job: So, I hated being on the phone all day, so what do I do? Get another call center job. This time inbound. I thought, at least people call ME and they know what they want, right? WRONG. Aradiant provided operator-assisted text messaging services for pagers. This was in the old school days before text messaging on phones, and all that. Well, it overlapped with that, but our customers were mostly hospitals and truck lines. This used to be located in Kearny Mesa (San Diego), but has now outsourced the call center to Tijuana, México (ironically, my hometown). I worked the night shift, 9pm to 1am, because it paid more. It was a lot quieter at night, and I liked it. But oh the pranksters... they do not sleep. "Did you know your phone number spells out 1-800-vagina?? HAHAHAHA". I didn't but thanks for the info. Too bad it's not my pager anyway. "I'm calling about the job ad on the paper for an office assistant". Um, it's 11pm, this is the after hours answering service. Who calls about a job at 11pm?!?! Loser. I lasted less than a year, because I was a temp and they didn't hire me permanently because I didn't want to work nights anymore and they couldn't offer me another schedule. This job sucked big balls, but that is where I met my wonderful friend Stephany, who later became my roommate for a year and a half, who spoiled me by being such an awesome roommate that I want to live alone now rather than finding another roommate (she lives with her bf now), and who is one of my besteststststs friends ever.

4) Fourth job. My current job! I am a Claims Associate at a pretty famous insurance company that I don't want to name now because I hear of people getting fired for blogging (whether it's about the job or not). So I figure I'll play it safe. I started out as a temporary receptionist at the Auto Claims division, and I loved that office so much I still miss it. But my contract ended, and they offered me a position at the Property Claims office, where I am now. It's a much more mellow office than Auto, but nice nonetheless. I basically answer the phone and play dumb all day. I do menial tasks like faxing, copying, filing, and the mail. It's nice though, better than any of my other jobs. This is my first full time job (8 hrs!), and the day actually goes by faster than my other (part-time) jobs. I'm a grown up! HA ok no.

4 Jobs I've Had

I saw this on http://sherryinalabama.blogspot.com/

The first job I ever had (with an actual paycheck) was as a cashier in an autoparts store. I started when I was 15 and worked there off and on through college. This was a fun job for a young girl - lots of men.

I worked in a box printing company. I was bored to death and it was dirty. There were huge rolls of white paper (like 3 people tall) that got fed into printing machines. The paper always got stuck and paper would be wasted because the ink printed crooked and then the ink would run out. It was also very noisy. I didn't last long here.

I worked as a sales person in a discount coat factory. Yawn. Less than a month.

I was a bartender and then a bookkkeeper in a GoGo bar. There's a whole other world out there, peopled by women who earned money to buy a hit by having sex in public bathrooms, men who are heartbroken because these same women do not love them deeply and children being taken away from their parents. Drugs, sex and rock-n-roll. I didn't last here long either.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Writing Lesson

This was sent to me in an email today. I do not know who originated it.
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class:
"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."

my sketchbook is bursting at the seams!

more from the sketchbook




it's a rather elaborate series, you see.

seven weird things about kari ...

... because i couldn't possibly narrow it down to five.

1. i like eating anything chocolate while drinking orange juice.
2. i have a cat named little brother who, quite possibly, is in love with me.
3. i believe that only six out of ten dentists approved of trident gum.
4. annie hall is my favorite movie.
5. i drank too much last night.
6. because i'm a masochist.
7. instead of my hair slowly going white/gray, i wish it would do it all at once.

Interesting

These are the things that make people so interesting, our different little quirks.

I feel like a voyeur, peeking in people's windows when they are not looking.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

five minus two

I do not touch doors, faucets, levers, phones, or computer mice with my bare hands. Ever. If a door swings away, I push it open with my foot or shoulder. For everything else I shuck a shirt-sleeve over my fingers (I'm always wearing at least one article of clothing with long sleeves) or palm a paper napkin between me and whatever I'm touching, a napkin which gets tossed right away after use. Related: I really dislike touching the keys of publicly accessible computers but as I don't have a way to avoid them, I mollify my horror by frequently dousing my fingers in Purell.

It's not a habit, in that it's not a pattern of behavior I can consciously unlearn, but I get instantly carsick when I read while in
a moving vehicle. This includes road signs. Hilarity ensues when I try to figure out where I am.

I guess the obvious entry for the list would be the elephant-in-the-room habit of mine. I don't need to write about that here, my other blog has TMI.

Can't think of anything else, I'm quite mundane.

5 weird things about Tamie…

1) I am the queen of useless trivia… you name it… movie… music… history… science… whatever… I usually know the answer… I blame my father… who is also really good at useless trivia… I’m not saying I’m jeopardy smart… but you know… some other game show that I can’t think of at this exact moment smart… heh…

2) I cannot sleep unless there is a fan or an air conditioner running… It must be something about the white noise… but without it… I toss and turn and just can’t get to sleep… it can be 30 degrees out… and I’ll still sleep with the fan on…

3) Whenever I eat out… I always dissect my food… I pull/pick it apart just in case I don’t like something in it… and once I find something on the menu that I do like (and that I didn’t find anything unusual in)… I will usually only order THAT one thing when I go to that restaurant again… an example: a Del Taco bean n cheese burrito… if there is even one tiny shred of lettuce in it… hidden somewhere with the cheese…at the bottom… I will know… just from smelling it (my sense of smell is REALLY REALLY good)… and I have to open it up and pick it out before I’ll eat it…

4) I have like 70+ pairs of shoes… and I usually only ever wear my flip flops or one of my pairs of ugg boots… yet I still will buy new ones even when I know I probably won’t ever wear them…

5) When I find something really really funny… my laugh becomes silent and I can’t breathe… all 4 of my sisters and I are afflicted with this…

Yep, I'm weird too...

I think I may have some more weird habits but the problem is, they seem normal to me!

1. I talk to myself without realising that I'm talking out loud.

2. I eat the crusts from my sandwiches first.

3. I must have a coat or jacket with me no matter what the weather, I feel naked without one.

4. I bless myself discreetly when I hear sirens.

5. If I start a book I can't put it down. And once I've read it, I'll probably read it again

Monday, January 16, 2006

5 Wierd Things/Habits About Mary

1. I am one of those idiots who talks to her pets. I talk to my cat all the time. If he meows, I look at him and say "oh, really?". Then he meows again and I say "You're kidding me!?". He meows again and I say, "Well, I'm glad to here that."... as if we are having a conversation. I'm really not that lonely, I swear.

2. If there is a piece of paper within my reach, I WILL draw on it. This has been a habit since middle school. In High School I got in trouble in my American History class for doodling the first few weeks during lecture. I told the teacher I was paying attention, and he didn't believe me until I got A's on all the quizzes. I can absorb well when I am drawing.

3. I used to have the bad habit of biting my nails. I bit them for the LONGEST time and now I don't do it anymore, but I clip/file them until they are nubs. I'm trying to break that habit now.

4. Instead of saying "No" or even "No, Thanks"...I reply "NAH!"...And I catch myself doing it all the time. "NAH!" is not a word - at best it is a sound and I bet I sound like an idiot.

5. I don't like talking on the telephone with many people. I don't know why, but there are only like 3 people in the world I don't mind talking to on the phone. I'd rather be face to face.

weird

1. I tear paper. When it is my hands I tear it I have a pretty good system going I always tear it the exact same way it makes me not as anxious.
2. I have a better realtionship with my computer than with half of my roommates.
3. I have an odd obsession with socks especially of the argyle sort.
4. Nine times out of ten I would rather stay home and read a book then go out on a friday or saturday night.
5. I have never drank alcohol or coffee and haver never smoked ciggarettes or weed (not really weird in my opinion but i suppose it might be weird to other people)

5 weirds about Jodi

What a fun topic! I keep meaning to link this blog from my other, anyone else do that yet?

1. My friends think I'm super weird for this one; I eat food on my plate one thing at a time. It's OK if they're touching I just have to eat the meatloaf first, then mashed potatoes, then the carrots. I can't mix it up in anyway except maybe the order. Actually I would probably eat the potatoes first, they get cold the fastest. Also included with this, I have a psychological barrier (I blame my parents) to leaving any food on my plate. So I have to watch my portions. (Those poor starving children in Ethiopia should REALLY be thanking me)

2. I am a coffee snob. I absolutely must have at LEAST 3 cups of coffee a day. It can't be Folgers or Maxwell House, it has to be quality coffee that I usually grind myself every couple of days and then keep the grinds in a dark, airtight container. It may stem from my job at Starbucks years ago, however that is not the brand of coffee I prefer. (But as an act of desperation on a less then 3 cup day I may have to make a stop at the dreaded Starbucks for sustenance)

3. I change into my pajamas and immediately take off my bra the MINUTE I get home. It doesn't matter if I get home at 1:00 in the afternoon and will only be home until 4....I will change. I just can't get comfortable otherwise.

4. I cannot sleep naked much to the disappointment of my late husband and past lovers. I've tried, I just feel too vulnerable and the worry wart in me will stay up worrying about the possibility of a fire and having to run out onto the lawn buck nekkid. I just can't do it.

5. Like Samantha on Bewitched, I can wiggle my nose. I've been able to do it since I was a kid when my mother forbid me to touch my nose in any way, shape, or form in public. So when It itches, it wiggles. I was very popular in 3rd grade for that little talent.

Looking forward to reading the others!

5 weird(?) things about me

This is better than the topic I was going to suggest.

I count. I count just in my head. I don’t actually count things. I start at one and keep counting until something better comes along. I count to fall asleep, I count in the shower, and I count when I’m bored. I think this is some sort of psychological disease. Don’t tell anyone I do this.

I drink Diet Coke. I do not any other form of Coke or any other diet cola. I will drink water if a restaurant does not have diet coke. I will drink nothing before I would drink a diet Pepsi.

I always have the TV on at home. I rarely watch it, but I need the sound. TV was my best friend growing up. I have to have it on to go to sleep. I turn down the brightness, so the light doesn’t keep me awake and only play the sound. I prefer having on shows I’ve seen and liked, especially ancient history shows.

I don’t answer my phone without at least screening my calls. Even then I may not answer. It makes everyone crazy. I even do this at work. It is my belief that my phone is for my convenience not yours. I hate phones.

I refuse to make coffee, anywhere, anytime, and for no one. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t like coffee. It makes me crankier than I already am. I learned a longtime ago, that if I tell people I just don’t have a talent for it and that it comes out yucky, they don’t ask me.

FIVE WEIRD HABITS I HAVE

My friend Reggy, tagged my blog, and now I'm tagging all of you.

I guess the game goes like this:

The first player of this game starts with the topic “five weird habits of yourself,” and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You have been tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

So instead of choosing just 5 people to tag, I tag all of you who write in this blog.

Here goes...

1) I need to read when I eat. MUST. People say it's bad manners. I don't know how or when I picked up this habit, but I've done it as long as I remember being able to read. I don't mind eating out alone as long as I have something to read. During my lunch at work, I read. When I don't have something to read, I FREAK OUT. I can't enjoy my meal when I don't read. I prefer magazines because they stay open without me having to hold them open, that way I can eat with both hands. But as a last resort I'll use a book. This doesn't normally apply when I eat with others.

*As a side note I should add that this sort of spilled over to other areas of my life, and now reading is comforting and I need to read before bed, in the bathroom, while waiting at the dr's office, or for someone somewhere... Thus, I carry reading material with me AT ALL TIMES. Even when I go to friends' houses, I bring something to read in case I get bored. OK?? I'm weird.

2) I like to chew stuff. Pen caps, straws, my nails, others' nails. Yes, I'm gross like that. I have what some psychologists would call an Oral Fixation, I guess. This habit greatly diminished when I pierced my tongue (since I now have something in my mouth to constantly play with), but didn't disappear altogether. Mostly I do this when I get nervous, makes sense right?

3) Speaking of straws, I drink EVERYTHING through a straw. Anything that is liquid, anything that is a beverage, I must use a straw. Even plain old water. Don't ask me why... I just don't like drinking out of the cup/glass/container. If possible, I'll put a bottled drink in a glass with a straw. I carry straws in my purse (which wasn't mentioned in my purse post because they're in the bag I didn't talk about haha... carrying two bags is a weird habit in itself right??).

4) This one is pretty weird I think, and kinda hard to explain. When sleeping, I would rather not wear underwear/pants. If I must (for whatever reason) and for some reason want to sleep on my side (I've been sleeping on my back lately, this winter, to avoid this problem), the waistband of whatever bottom I wear MUST be ABOVE my hip bone. I've ruined underwear by doing this, and I end up giving myself wedgies. I don't know why, but having the elastic around my hip bone (instead above) is just uncomfortable and I can't sleep. For this reason I love summer, when I usually just wear a tshirt to bed, or when hot enough, nothing.

5) And finally, even though I prefer to sleep with as little on as possible (weather permitting, and yes I know I live in California and that shouldn't be as big of a problem but our nights can get damn cold even if day temperatures are high), I need to have some sort of cover/blanket (like Reggy!). I cannot sleep without one. I need something on top of me, to cover me. Otherwise I don't sleep well. In summer I turn on the fan or A/C, but have a blanket on.


TAG, all of you are IT!

it's ART-tastic...

with all this artistic sharing… I thought I’d link you all to my photo web site… since it would take WAY too much space to put the images up here...

you go here now...

I don’t have any illustrations or drawing up there (they’re all in my closet at the moment and very very far from ever being scanned into any computer) but one day… maybe…

tah...

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Uncomfortable

I received what appeared to be a nice compilment on my blog. When I tracked back, the blogger's profile was blank. A "forum" was attached that took me to a "sex" site.

Needless to say, I am not happy. Advice wanted: do I let people know the name of the blogger so "it" can be avoided or do I just delete it? Can it be blocked?

Mermaid


Here's my contribution to the sea. I did this for my daughter, who loves being in the water. It's ink and water colors on watercolor paper. Forgive my photography. It sucks.

Friday, January 13, 2006

my sketchbook




i'm not as gifted as mary, but i'm angsty as all get-out!

My Sketchbook



I've got this on my personal blog too, but I thought I'd put it here too because blogger makes bloggin' sooo easy.

Anyways, this is an illustration I did for Illustrationfriday.com. The theme was "sea" and a blue whale was the first thing that came to mind, so I started sketching and through a long drawn out process that I won't bore you with, I came up with this.

This is one of my new years "resolutions". To draw more and stretch a little more creatively. So, I got myself a new sketchbook to keep with me and work and I guess I'm doing it a little. One is just a drop in the bucket though....

The Day of Doooooooooooom!

Welcome to Friday the 13th. I lost track of all the sequels because I was too much of a scaredy cat to watch any more than five minutes of them. Anything you refuse to do on Friday the 13th? I can't really think of anything horrific that happened to me on Friday the 13th, possible small things that seemed life changing at the time but now have just faded with the drama. Don't overdose on superstitions and go easy on the amulets! I'm going to bed now to dream about the lovely rugby players I saw today. Sweet dreams!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Straddling the Fence

Like Tamie, I am straddling the fence and hurting myself in the process (I’m a Libra, so I’m allowed to be indecisive.)

While I didn’t know the Rush reference (sorry Andy) I did think that Test for Echo was a good name for the reasons so eloquently expressed by furyouhin. I can visualize sending my words out to the great expanse to see what I get back. I get the same vibrations from the comments as I do from an echo.

While I do like the name, An Orgy of Words (obviously, since I suggested it, pats self on back and gets a cramp), furyouhin does bring up some goods points, again. It kind of reminds me of the Caligulia movie by the owner of Penthouse magazine. While I often get diarrhea of the mouth, it is not always my aspiration.

An Orgy of Words is sexy and kind of naughty and it does bring to mind people wallowing in the joy of exchanging ideas. Test for Echo is sort of esoteric and classy and the way we send out feelers for other people’s thought and opinions.

If I was voting right now, I'd go for leaving the name the same.

Did you know there is no synonym for word?

Tints, Titles, Templates - Oh, my!

Mary - I like the logo. The pink squeezed between all of that black is very erotic.

For a background photo you could use one like one of those flowers by Georgia O'Keeffe that dosen't look like a flower.

Or for the background we could do a code where every thirteenth letter put together spells a dirty word and see if anyone notices.

njhgtfdesawdolokujygtfvxnrkcscksddfrdsgjuhfsv
dgfngjymugrdgtfnhbgojugrdfesdcfvrmkijyhgvcf
digijhgvcfdesavyiuytredsecvgomkoijnbhuygvrqa
zxswedcvfrgnjdnfhgncfhgynjhgtfdesawdolokujy
gtfvxnrkcscksddfrdsgjuhfsvdgfngjymugrdgtfnh
bgojugrdfesdcfvrmkijyhgvcfdigijhgvcfdesavyiuy
tredsecvgomkoijnbhuygvrqazxswedcvfrgnjdnfh
gncfhgyjsdvuvfvvsjhsbvuvucyrxtejejnhtfdcxzawdx

Blog Name, Blog Images

1. I like the name "Test for Echo," which is about the only thing I like about Rush. (I cribbed "Test for Echo" straight off the name of a Rush album.)

It was something I thought up spur of the moment, and I'm completely open to scrapping the name in favor of something like "Orgy of Words."

2. I love the title banner, Mary, and the ideas you all have for color, layout and design.

And, yes, I'm secure in my masculinity and don't mind the hot pink. ;-)

an orgy of words

This could be our "logo" wordmark and at the top of the blog. All the words pushed together kinda represent the "orgy" part LOL ...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Blog Name

I have really grown to like Test for Echo as this blog's name. But amybe we could put "An Orgy of Words" in the about section of the sidebar?

I love everyone's answers to all of the questions.

pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain

testing email-to-blog.

if you're not seeing this message, then you'll never know.
p.s. this cracks me up every time

Blogging By Email

Welcome to furyouhin!

At her request, I've enabled the feature that allows you to blog by email. If you'd like to know this address, go to "Change Settings" and look under the "Email" tab. (All members can view settings because all members are admins.)

I'm testing the feature now.

(Edited to add: I suppose it works! - Andy)
1. fury
2. see #1.
3. o+
4. o->
5. s
6. n
7. n
8. portland, or
9. whatever needs to be done
10. nothing
11. yield
12. cuisine: japanese, dish: curry udon sans meat
13. a 1" x 1" sq of semi-sweet chocolate. any more is overwhelming
14. anyone who actively listens
15. r:156 g:156 b:206. it was the startup screen color for MacOS for many years
16. autumn. it's the quality of sunlight
17. i think maybe it was of me and my mom at the beach when i was about 5, although truthfully i don't know if i have a real memory of that day or i just have a memory of a photograph from that day and i extrapolated from there over time.
18. myself crazy? no car.
19. no idea
20. hazel

I am going with jodi on this one

1. What is your first name? Catherine
2. If you could choose your name, what would you call yourself? i have no idea maybe ella
3. Are you a boy or a girl? girl
4. Do you like boys or girls? boys
5. What’s your marital status? single so very single
6. Do you have any children? nope
7. Do you have any pets? chia pet named bronty
8. Where do you live? Idaho and utah (currently idaho)
9. What do you do to support yourself? uhh nothing
10. What do you do to support your soul? read listen to music take walks
11. What’s your sign? Pices
12. What’s your favorite food? couldn't tell ya but i am always up for a nice turkey sandwich
13. What’s your favorite dessert? chocolate cheesecake
14. Who is your hero? my parents, michael lund
15. What’s your favorite color and why? green, it makes me happy on the inside
16. What is your favorite season and why? fall because summer drives me nuts and i love the way it smells
17. What is your happiest memory? sitting in my brothers room with all my siblings talking til all hours of the night
18. What do you drive? nothing, when i am home i drive a toyota van which i fondly refer to as the pimp mobile
19. Who do you think is the hottest person in the world? a kid named chris from new jersey who i met last night mmm chris
20. What color are your eyes? blue but they usually change with my clothing

20 ?s

I was going to post mine in the comments like everyone else but blogger's commenting option is screwed up. So Screw it,I'll post it here.

1.What is your first name? Jodi
2. If you could choose your name, what would you call yourself? I was going to put something beautiful here like Julia or Chloe but really, I like Jodi
3. Are you a boy or a girl? WOman
4. Do you like boys or girls? Men
5. What’s your marital status? Widowed
6. Do you have any children? Yes, a daughter, Ariana
7. Do you have any pets? 1 annoying dog and 2 spoiled fat cats
8. Where do you live? Austin, TX
9. What do you do to support yourself? I live off widow compensation from the VA, a small paycheck from the hospital, and financial aid for school
10. What do you do to support your soul? Sleep and sing
11. What’s your sign? Cancer
12. What’s your favorite food? Cheeseburgers
13. What’s your favorite dessert? Cheesecake
14. Who is your hero? I have too many, but who first comes to mind is a charge nurse I work with, Eric, I would like to be the kind of nurse he is.
15. What’s your favorite color and why? Blue, no matter what the shade, I still like it
16. What is your favorite season and why? Winter, I like to cuddle up in blankets and sweaters and I handle cold temps better then hot
17. What is your happiest memory? Crazy times when I participated in Theater in high school
18. What do you drive? Mazda Protege
19. Who do you think is the hottest person in the world? Ewan McGregor
20. What color are your eyes? Gray

Play 20 Questions

Take a get-to-know-you quiz.

1. What is your first name?
2. If you could choose your name, what would you call yourself?
3. Are you a boy or a girl?
4. Do you like boys or girls?
5. What’s your marital status?
6. Do you have any children?
7. Do you have any pets?
8. Where do you live?
9. What do you do to support yourself?
10. What do you do to support your soul?
11. What’s your sign?
12. What’s your favorite food?
13. What’s your favorite dessert?
14. Who is your hero?
15. What’s your favorite color and why?
16. What is your favorite season and why?
17. What is your happiest memory?
18. What do you drive?
19. Who do you think is the hottest person in the world?
20. What color are your eyes?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

What's on Mary's Desktop?


Above is a photo of my office before I start working on a major project. Then I usually end up having to remove the cool stuff and retire it to my bookshelf to make rooms for the stacks of print outs and crap. The um, "paint fairy" had fun in my office one weekend several months ago.

On my office desk now:

•My home-made zen garden. You have no idea how many "litter box" jokes I get.
•Napoleon Dynamite talking keychain
•Candle that doesn't smell nearly as nice as I thought it would. I'm always afraid I'm going to burn this building down.
•My doodle pad
•Paper swatch books from Neenah & Gilbert paper co.
•a gazillion DVDs with images
•Jimmy John's sandwich shop cup
•My file-a-dex with old job folders
•My headphones which mean "LEAVE ME THE #$@!&* ALONE, pleeease"
•My 2005 Cat-A-Day calendar which is still on December 21st. I wish I had a new one.
•A hundred pieces of scrap paper with doodles and crap all over them
•PRINT Magazine
•HOW Magazine
•Graphic Design USA Magazine
Wheeeee! :)

A Prize for All List Fans

A list of completely worthless knowledge. Impress your friends.

1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the
Parliament building is an American flag.
10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial
on the back of the $5 bill.
14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
17. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
18. Los Angeles' full name is
"El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"
19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after
Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
26. A goldfish has a memory span of three
seconds.
27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube
and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

My Purse

My first post here! Yay. Ok, I have a TON of crap in my purse and figured you'd be interested in knowing what I have (maybe I figured wrong)...

I carry a burgundy, faux-leather, medium-sized, tote-style purse. Here's a pic from when I first bought it (I was really excited ok, I had to take a pic).


It's not like, a really expensive/designer purse, I think it cost like US$25, but I love it. It carries everything!

So here it is, in thorough detail:

First, my make up bag. Bag within a bag, yes, I'm insane. I have a leopard-print, small-ish bag that I got for free at Lancome. Getting free stuff from Lancome will make sense after you see my list.

-Lancome Dual Finish pressed powder, in Matte Buff II
-Lancome lipstick Rouge Absolu, in Amande Sucrée
-Lancome lipstick Rouge Sensation, in Nude 5 (no clue what the difference between "absolu" and "sensation" is but they were free)
-2 pairs of earplugs, you know just in case haha
-nail clipper
-3 nail files
-2 small eyeglass repair kits (with tiny screwdriver, and tiny screws)
-7 loose q-tips
-Prestige waterproof lipliner, in cocoa
-mascara wand (dry, for separating eyelashes or combing eyebrows)
-small eyeshadow brush
-whatever eyeshadow I'm using for liner that day (today it is Jane eye zing in plum perfect)
-Clean & Clear oil absorbing sheets (can't live without these!)
-Maybelline Forever Lipcolor in Chestnut
-Bonne Bell lipgloss in Mocha Fudge Explosion
-Prestige Soft Blend Khol Eyeliner, in Jet Black
-Neutrogena MoistureShine gloss, in Tickled
-Avon glimmersticks lip liner, in rich cocoa
-Retractable Lancome lip-brush
-Tweezers
-Abreva (just in case...)
-Black, fine point Sharpie (no idea why I have it in my make up bag, haha I've been looking for this elsewhere...)
-Sally Hansenmoisturizingg cuticle brush.
-Old Lancome Definicils mascara I need to throw away soon..
-Neutrogena clean last tint, in black
-Cortaid 1.0% hydrocortisone anti-itch faststick
-tiny hair clip
-Cover Girl wetslicks crystals, in luxe
-Lancome Résolution Eye D-contraxol Intensive Anti-Wrinkle Eye Treatment (sample size)
-2 Lancome Juicy Tubes Ultra Shiny Lip Gloss, in Miracle, and Touched by Light
-tiny keychaiflashlightht, provided by Enterprise Rent-a-Car, that I got at my old job.
-a napkin

Moral of Make up Bag: I like Lancome products (hence I get free stuff often), and I have way too many lipglosses/lipsticks.

Yes, that's just my make up bag. I still have to list my PURSE. God, I'm feeling ashamed now...
OK here goes:
-Check for $4 from 4/28/05 that I never cashed. Wonder if I can still cash it...
-20gb iPod
-iTrip FM transmitter for iPod
-earphones for iPod (nice ones I had to buy separate because the ones that come with the iPod SUCK)
-Purell 2-in-instantnd Hand Sanitizer + Moisturizer (tiny size)
-Hairbrush
-pack of Kleenex tissue
-Small Centrum bottle filled with L-lysine 500mg tablets (to ward off cold sores, it works!)
-4 fl oz bottle of Bath and Body Works lotion in Cherry Blossom
-Small Dove invisible solid deodorant in Original Clean
-Sally Hansen Cuticle Massage Cream with Apricot Extract (you would think that having all this nail crap in my purse meant I have really pretty nails, but I don't)
-Checkbook
-Small Notebook with pen
-extra pen
-Moist wipes
-a packet of Hot Chocolate mix
-small bottle of hairspray
-gum
-Q-tips, travel pack
-another small flashlight
-Wallet (ohh and in my wallet there is a whole other list of things I will spare you from...)
-Nivea creme tin
-Gap Dream solid perfume tin
-Walgreens MercuroClear First Aid Antiseptic Topical Analgesic (When I feel a cold sore coming, I dab this on and then some Abreva on top, take 2 L-lysine tablets, and PRAY. Has worked SO FAR!)
-US Passport (border town, you know... they're getting stricter and stricter)
-Pack of Parliament Ultra Lights
-2 lighters
-small plastic wallet of pictures
-ChapStick Medicated lip balm (can you tell I'm obsessed with my lips!)
-Neutrogena MoistureShine gloss, in Dreamy
-mini foldable pen (?)
-2 condoms
-bunch of papers with random phone numbers, and some recipes that I want to try
-mini nail file
-Vicks vapor inhaler
-cloth for cleaning eyeglasses
-matchbook
-Clean & Clear Instant Dissolving Cleansing Sheets. I recommend this for EVERYONE, omg they take off ALL make up and lather instantaneously. Just add water!! Fabulous.
-some band-aids (I'm accident-prone)
-Birth control pills
-Cell phone, and cell phone charger
-Cover Girl wetslicks crystals, in chocofix chocomania

Moral of total purse (incl make up bag): I like chocolate flavored lipgloss
*EDIT* Moral of total purse #2: No wonder my friends never bring anything when we go somewhere. The take it for granted I have it all! Which I do. Sad.

So, that's all. I actually carry all this crap around all the time, I'm crazy! I also usually have a book in my purse, to read whenever I'm waiting somewhere, but right now it's in my magazine tote (YES, I have yet another bag I carry around). My current book is Talk to the Hand by Lynne Truss.

Did anyone actually read the whole list?? Haha.

List o' Stuff on My Desk at Work

How about what's strewn across my desk at work? The contents of my truck aren't altogether interesting. Hell, it's fairly clean!

From left to right:

1. An empty tupperware container that held my lunch for today (minestrone soup).

2. A printout of the manual to a Sony laptop computer I'm working on for a friend.

3. A card that contains the telephone numbers to Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated and Time magazines. (I'm a sucker for the eight-week trial subscriptions the cashiers at Best Buy offer whenever I make a purchase. Hey, it's a good deal, as long as you remember to cancel within the eight-week timeframe.)

4. Two CD jewel cases: one for Bush ("Sixteen Stone") and other for Alan Jackson's "Let It Be Christmas." (Hey, don't judge!)

5. A travel tube of Colgate MaxFresh toothpaste (cinnamon whitening flavor) and a CVS store brand toothbrush. (I'm a little OCD about clean teeth.)

6. My Samsung cell phone.

7. My work Blackberry.

8. A travel tube of Vaseline aloe skin lotion. (My skin tends to be very dry in winter.)

Also:

9. A big ol' thing of Lubriderm sensitive skin therapy skin lotion. (As I said, dry skin.)

10. Two lip balms: a Burt's Bees and a Chapstick medicated. (Dry lips, too.)

11. My Swiss Army diver's watch. (I can't key on the keyboard and wear a watch at the same time.)

12. A half-empty can of Coca-Cola.

13. A ceramic mug I, ahem, borrowed from Panera Bread.

14. A plastic plate I'd used to transport half of a pound cake to work, to share with my co-workers.

15. An older Samsung cell phone I need to return to Cingular for credit toward my bill.

16. A legal pad.

17. A Macy's shopping bag I used to carry flavored water and cereal bars to work.

18. Nail clippers. (I hate hang nails. Don't you?)

19. A printout of an email from a friend.

20. A laser mouse I intend to, ahem, borrow from work and use at home.

Listmania part deux

Ok, I'll include mine, Where's Andy's? Ok, I know you probably don't carry a purse but how about listing what's in your car. (The man equivalent of a purse)
In mine:
~My PDA and wallet (My PDA contains medical software from www.skyscape.com, drug guides, medical dictionary, etc.)
~My reading glasses
~Lip Balm from Devonshire
~Extra, raspberry mint gum
~3, 2 by 2 gauze squares
~small scissors
~a happy meal toy (from Narnia)
~asthma inhaler, albuterol
~sunglasses
~Keys
~bath and body works antibacterial gel, Black raspberry vanilla scented

Monday, January 09, 2006

Listmania

I'm also a fan of lists, they make me feel organised although most of the time I'm the least organised person in the world. I have post its on my little bookshelf that's beside my bed, one of them reads:
WEDNESDAY:
-up early
- read three chapters
-email Jen
-email photos to Jodi and Leeanne
-research chivalric code
- do dishes
-defrost meat for dinner

Now I'm in the library at the moment so the contents of my bag are very academic:
-one new fileblock(you call them legal pads?)
-one dogeared and falling to pieces fileblock
- folder containing photocopies
- my Derek Pearsall anthology of Medieval literature
- my purse
- my bus timetable
- hairclip
- ipod usb cable
- floppy disk
- my tutorial notes
-one general notebook
- my mobile
-box of Wrigley's Extra
- bottle of RiverRock Water
- make-up bag
-ipod(although strictly speaking it's on the desk at the moment)
-my little first aid kit: -blister plasters
-eyewash
-nail scissors
- paracetamol tablets
- ibuprofen tablets
- throat lozenges
- mini antiseptic wipes
- a few ordinary plasters
-antibacterial handgel
-one black gel pen
-two mini ballpens
-two mini highlighters
-one pack of Extra Strong Trebor Mints
-my doorkeys
-one Bourjois lipgloss
- 64mb X-D Card
-handypack of tissues

Okay, I spent way too long making that list. I have to get back to my assignments. I'll be back tomorrow!

My Purse

i generally don't use a purse while at school but sincei am just returning fromhome my purse is still full of magical items such as:

Ipod
check book
wallet
chapstick
2 pens
1 pencil
my purse sucks i am off to fill it with more interesting things

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Lists

I like lists. I have lists all over my house, in my office at work, on my computers, in my purse, in my head. There are shopping lists, to-do lists both for home and work, budget lists, wish lists, lists of craft and art projects, pro and con decision lists, lists of things I hate. This is a list. I like reading lists. Doesn't matter the subject or goal.

Here's a list of what I have in my purse:
wallet
sunglasses
reading glasses
Chap Stick
Rolaids
Knife
Calculator
tape measure
cell phone
Yellow 3 x 5 Postit pad
a blue gel pen, a black gel pen, a black ink pen and a red fine line Sharpie
lighter
toothpicks
melt away breath strips
checkbook
lotion

What do you have in your purse or briefcase?

Friday, January 06, 2006

I'm such a geek :)

There is only one thing that can make me want to buy an xbox 360º

And that’s if they make a KOTOR 3… that’s Knights of the Old Republic…

Only the best Star Wars game series… EVER

If you aren’t familiar with KOTOR’s 1 & 2… then let me briefly explain… it’s a role playing game… set in the pre prequel Star Wars universe… you get to choose your path… playing either light or dark side… every conversation… every action… every choice you make.. affects your orientation… and the orientation and actions of your friends and companions (in the game… hehe… playing KOTOR at home won’t turn your annoying roommate into a wookie… I’m sorry)

Andrew (my fiancé) and I both love to play… he usually plays the male character to the dark side extreme… he steals from the poor and the blind… he kills people after the missions demand he helps them… his character (in his own words) looks like he’s constipated with evil… a red back ground and black swarming mist surround his dark and brooding Sith…

I… on the other hand… play the good guy... or rather… the good girl (another reason I totally love this game is because I can be the girl… hehehehe)… I help people without taking their money (it’s all about the light side points) and do good deeds just because…
My character stands (with remarkably good posture) on a background of blue… with a bright white pillar of light/energy behind her… I am such a perfect Jedi that as I play… I fully expect my character to turn into Yoda… any minute… SHUT UP… hehe… it could happen. (no it won’t… I know… but still… wouldn’t it be kinda cool if it did)…

We both agree that welding a light saber in each hand (duel light sabers… wooo) is the best… and that force lightning and force heal are the coolest…

But the best thing about this game is the unique gameplay… things are different if you’re playing as a male character or as a female character… and they’re drastically different if you’re playing light side vs dark side (and vice versa)…

I highly recommend both KOTOR’s and like I said… should there be a 3rd… I will be coughing up the dough to get my hands on one of those xbox 360ºs…

Hospitals

I was trying to think how often I personally have been in the hospital and the reasons for my incarceration.

There was the time when I was 5. I was playing on the jungle gym with children twice my age. They were flipping over the top and hanging down, so of course I did too. I fell flat on my face. My lower teeth went through the skin of my chin. Blood every where. My mother took me to the hospital. Since I had sand in the wound, they had to use a fingernail brush to clean it out. My mother had to leave the room because she almost passed out. Then they stitched me up. Since it was an army hospital in Germany in 1963, this was all done without anesthesia. I was a trooper. Never made a sound. Wore my injury like a badge of courage and went right back on the monkey bars the next day.

Then, there was the time we were swimming in a lake. I was 10. The lake was a hangout for the local bad teenagers who drank and smoked at night on the beach. They'd throw their beer bottles in the water when the police came patrolling. Some of the bottles broke. I stepped on one. Cut the shit out of my foot. We were 3 blocks from home. We didn't have a second car and my dad used our only car to get to work. No cell phones and not even a payphone. No lifeguard. This was 1968. The age before technology, overprotection and the sue happy people we have now a days. My mother carried me home, piggyback. My little brother followed along, keeping track of the blood pouring from my foot. Once we got home, the blood was staunched with a towel and we wanted 2 hours for my father to come home from work before I went to the hospital.

Next was the time I was on diet pills (real amphetamines.) I also had sleeping pills but I didn't take them because the monsters were horrible. So I was awake for a week. Then on Friday, I went out with friends. Drinking, carousing, dancing, all night long. Then breakfast (the first food I'd had in 5 days) at 6am followed by the drive home with the windows rolled up, the heater on and no music playing so my friend could sleep. I slept too. I ran into the back of a bread truck (Brinks armored Car), went off of the highway and came to a stop when trees got in the way of my cruising vehicle. I woke to the sound of my friend screaming that I was dead. I spent 3 days in the hospital for a bruised sternum. This was in 1980, so I didn't get a DUI or anything. The police didn't bother idiots back then.

The last time I was in the hospital was when I gave birth to my daughter. 1986. I didn't actually go into labor at the time. A week earlier, my mother was laid up in bed with a bad back. Her bedroom was upstairs. I spent the day taking refreshments and visitors up to her. Up and down, up and down, 9 months pregnant. Well my placenta got a slow leak. I thought I just couldn't control my bladder (the joys we women endure.) I got a bladder infection because of it. I woke in the middle of the night in pain. I was living with my parents at the time, after having left Canada and the father of my child. I didn't want to disturb anyone, so I waited a few hours. But finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I went upstairs and woke my mother. We all went to the hospital. I had a whole pack of people in the room with me, family, friends, nurses, etc. Everyone but the doctor, who was in the lounge watching Dance Fever. They gave me antibiotics and pain medication. They couldn't tell if I was really in labor or not. Around 3pm they decided to induce since I was there already and my due date was only 2 weeks away anyway. My daughter was born at 5pm. They were going to send me home the next day (Saturday) but Erika was jaundiced and they wouldn't let me take her with me so I refused to go. I stayed until Monday and had a good, quiet rest. My mother was mad at me because my surprise baby shower was that Sunday and I wasn't there. Which was good for me because I got all of the prezzies without people fawning all over me. I hate being the center of attention. By the way, my daughter was the best thing that ever happened to me, she saved my life.

And so ends General Hospital.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

wish me luck

Like I said in my blog, I may not be writing for a bit, due to surgery tomorrow. If you are lucky and to my later embarrassment I may write a pain-killer induced post, which could be entertaining, especially since I have a tendency to get goofy even on NyQuil. I look forward to reading what awaits me when I get back.

My Shopping Centre

We don't call them malls over here, they're 'shopping centres' thank you very much. My local shopping centre that I also work in, is quite a small one even by our standards but it's regarded as a better one because it's clean.

We also do not have any of the same shops that you have in your malls, in this particular one we have:

Sainsbury's - for all your groceries, they have a lot of teenage boys working here, my mother loves to torment my 14 year old sister by asking them to show her where the Tampax are etc.

Molton Brown - as big as a walk in wardrobe this shop charges way too much for scented candles and waxy lipsticks

Carphone Warehouse - just don't bother, seriously, the staff have absolutely no time for you. They will tell you anything to get your signature on a contract for a mobile and then three months later when your phone bill mysteriously trebles, they deny all knowledge of contract clauses.

Boots Opticians - Ummm they test your eyes and fit you for glasses. Which reminds me, I really need to get my eyes tested, I'm pretty sure there aren't two computers in front of me.

Campbell's Chemist - the pharmacy for all your pharmaceutical needs(to a degree) and they have the big names in make-up and also a male cosmetics consultant that nearly choked on a whole Mars bar when I came in with some of their mail that got mistakenly delivered to my store.

Northern Bank - pretty self explanatory, their atm machines are some of the busiest in Northern Ireland.

Clinton Cards - a card for every occasion or something, I'm pretty sure I didn't see any Happy Kwanza or Hanukkah cards in there.

The shop that's so tiny I can't remember the name - sells overpriced kitchen utensils, the person behind the till never smiles.

H. Samuels - a jeweller's. From cheap and nasty to plain pricy.

Goldsmiths- another jeweller's. Why they thought that two jewellery shops side by side was a good idea, I'll never know. The staff think they are very posh. They're not.

Boots - contrary to popular belief this is not one with a pharmacy. They sell make-up, perfume, hair dye, shower gel etc etc. The staff are LOVELY!

Oasis - the staff in here need to eat. But then they wouldn't fit into the clothes they sell. What a tragedy that would be.

Monsoon/Accessorise - very fancy clothes in here and prices to match. Really pretty costume jewellery in Accessorise though.

Bijou- used to be fantastically cheap for stud earrings, it's now getting more expensive every week and the gems still fall out of the studs!

Vodaphone - they sell Vodaphones, do not ask if they do O2 top up cards, you get very short shrift.

Cafe - DO NOT EAT HERE, it is detrimental to your health.

Marks and Spensers - their food is gorgeous, the clothes not so much but getting better!

Dunnes - they try to be the Irish equivalent of Marks and Spensers but sadly lacking. Also, I worked in one of their branches when I was 16, I would never in a month of Sundays contemplate working for them again.

Sports place - this is for all the steeks and millbags that need emblems and logos on every piece of clothing they wear.

Faith - one of my spiritual homes, they sell beautiful, oh so beautiful shoes. I can't go in there anymore, my bank balance does not allow it.

Clarks - another shoe shop that is always packed with screaming kids getting fitted for their first shoes, don't go anywhere near this shop in the month of August, it's the height of Back to School fittings.

A-Wear - this shop sells some very pretty clothing and as far as I can remember is the only A-Wear in Northern Ireland so when you wear something from there it's very rare to bump into someone wearing the same.

New Look - good for last minute clothes when you're rushing to find something to wear that night.

Next - clothing for men, women and children, their sales start at five in the morning and there are always queues.

River Island - clothes for people who don't eat.

Principles and Dorothy Perkins - modern, well made clothes for women and don't cost an arm and a leg

Evans - they cater for plus sizes

HMV- another spiritual home, they sell cds and dvds etc. I want to spend a fortune everytime I'm in here.

Game - they sell computer games, this is the one shop I've never been into!

Sainsbury's offlicence - I've definitely been in here, they sell booze!

Outside the actual shopping centre there are a few shops along the side that include the dry cleaners where the man saw me coming and hid underneath the counter so he could shout boo at me. The hairdressing salon, very pretty boys work in there. The travel agents, reeks of fake tan and nail polish. The butcher's, I used to work with two of the butcher's in Dunnes, they nearly put me off meat for life.

Would you work in your local mall?

Since we’re all sharing about our favorite stores (sort of)…

Let me just say that I am totally narcissistic… kay… now that that’s out of the way… hehe... I thought I’d share my Kryptonite… Sephora be thy name…

if you’re a girl… looking to buy a girl a gift… a gay man… metro sexual… confused… or for some other reason love make-up and or beauty products… Sephora is the store for you…

I LOVE this place… and maybe it’s the shiny bottles of lotions… potions… and other nice smelling things… along with all the bottles and compacts full of eye-shadows… lipsticks… foundations… powders… creams… blushes… etc…

le sigh

But I can’t help myself… I get all wide eyed and start trying new things and spraying here and dabbing there… and then the justification sets in… where WOULDN’T I wear this new $30 lipstickI mean it’ll go with EVERYTHING… and by everything… I usually mean NOT everything… because within the week… it’ll end up all nice and cozy with my OTHER new lipsticks… chilling out in a train case or make-up bag… to be “saved” for a special occasion in the end…

hehe… seriously… I have more make-up than god… if god were… for example… a fabulous transvestite… or a styling make-up artist…

and I try (I’m a good girl I am) to only buy from them once every 3 or 4 months… but since I have been known on more than one occasion to drop between $300-$500 at a time there… I have been trying to go for 6 months without a “fix”…

and it’s doubly hard because I usually make the big orders online (free samples… OH THE FREE SAMPLES) but there is a Sephora at Downtown Disney… and it’s like a siren calling to me when ever I walk by… and at my local maul (indoors that is) they just opened up a new temptation… er… store… and spending $50-$100 every once in a while doesn’t seem that bad…

usually you find the girls who work there to be painted up like trash… and not all that knowledgeable about their products… and you’ll also see lots of teenage girls slathering on the bright colors on either themselves… or their reluctant boyfriends…

hehe… they sell this Evian water spray (to hydrate your skin when it’s really dry out… shut up… it DOES SO work) and I saw these 12 year old girls spraying it on their skin and smelling it… like it didn’t say on the bottle “100 percent pure Evian mineral water” but then again… maybe they thought French water smelled like… oh I don’t know… café and cigarettes…

and I try to take the best care of my skin as possible… because hey… you only get ONE face… and I’ve embraced my paleness… I’ve achieved an alabaster complexion over the last 2 years… I’ve become a Chanel and Lancome girl… and I have to say… it’s totally worth it… if you have the time and the money… because I now feel comfortable to leave the house with only the barest hint of moisturizer sometimes… and that’s ironic…

Goths

I love looking at Goths. All of that metal sticking out in odd places: spikes in the head, eyebrows, nose, row upon row in the ears, or dicks in the ears, lips, tongue, chin, bellybutton and places unseen and unknown. The piercing craze is fascinating. Some I think are cute others I think are insane. How do you blow your nose with a post stuck in it?

My greatgrandmother had her ears pierced all her life. By the time she was 86, her earlobes hung all the way to her shoulders. I have visions of these teens and twenties, pierced all over so young, with great loopy holes flopping unattractively by the time they reach 50.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Not to say I told you so but I do believe I said Longhorns were gonna kick butt. Some butt was kicked. That is all. ;)

I'm intrigued by the Gothic store Kari mentioned. Nothing like that here. What is it? All black stuff and fishnets? My late hubby would have loved that. I know you can get manic panic here at Sally's beauty supply. I was purple and blue myself just a few years back.
Someone needs to call them and tell them to put a store in this college town, they'd make a killing.

kari's mall trip

you know, i happen to know OODLES of liberals, andy, and all they all enjoy a trip to the mall. except for the mall of hysteria. that's right: i'm talking about the mall of america.

that place if a fucking nightmare to list off, so i'll just give you a few highlights of my last trip, while offering a compare/contrast to yours, andy.

American Eagle:
it tries to be TOO clean-cut. it's like a david lynch film...starting out all benign and sun-shiny and upbeat music..then you find that there is some weird sex-slave gimp kept in the back, tied up in wool scarves and a floor littered with severed body parts. (maybe that's just the one i shop at.)

Banana Republic, J. Crew, etc.:
my sister worked at "crew," and even she was disgusted by a hair holder that cost 15 dollars. fuckers. (nothing clever to say about them. they are just fuckers.)

Bath & Body Works:
as for shopping for girls, vanilla is a sefe bet for most. anything that smells even REMOTELY of patchoulli should be disposed of by way of napalm. anything that has exfoliation properties is a good thing. and all the skinny girls who work there need to be fed. and fed twinkies. until they look like real people.

Hollister:
i don't think i've EVER hated a store so much. bad lighting. horrible music, dressing rooms that have sheer curtains and remember what i said about the girls who work at Bath & Body? yeah, even more so. sure, they look cute in their small jeans, but no one looks cute barfing up their cafeteria lunch.

The Sharper Image:
where i would shop if had unlimited income and needed six different vibrating chairs. (not a bad idea, actually..) and a giant statue of batman. and an air purifier that will cure all ailments. i'm reminded of the sex and the city where samantha returned her massager to the sharper image, and her reason being that it failed to get her off.

The Store Whose Name I Don't Recall But It Sells Endless Crappy Toys That Fly and Make Noise:
i swear to god; there is always SOMETHING making noise and flying in this store... i've seen flying pigs, flying fake vomit, flying buddhas. you walk in and it's a constant battle to NOT be beheaded. and when you actually find something you want there, in the midst of all the complete and utter crap, it takes a religious miracle to pull the clerk away from his toy spider eating the toy monkey demonstration. and there will ALWAYS be a child screaming. and most often accompanied by a parent who cusses at them.

Hot Topic:
fuck, is goth ever exhausting! to look at, to figure out how to wear, to actually go through all those buckles and safety pins and chains. i guess it's important for kids to know where to buy manic panic hair dye (as i once did). and where else can you find white face makeup at such discount??? (note to self: stop by hot topic later.)

Torrid:
okay, so i just made fun of hot topic and now i'm going to advocate for torrid? that's right. and why? b/c girls like me need lovin', and sometimes it takes a gothy dress that makes you look like Wednesday Addams to achieve it.

i kind of feel like shopping. who's with me?

Heaven

The only place I like to shop is a bookstore and my favorite is our local B & N. It's like bing in heaven for me. I wander around, touching the books on the shelves, occasionally picking one up to look more closely. I look through the entire sale section where they sell beautifully illustrated tomes about nothing I particularly need to know, but I have to have them. My husband has threatened divorce if I bring home any more books. I just hand him our lawyer's phone number.

My family has sent out search parties a couple of times, because 17 hours after leaving the house, I still have not returned. I have turned off my cell phone so as not to be disturbed (although this is usually a bad move, because then they really start to panic.)

I don't go for the coffee and biscotti (two more things I hate) and I don't sit in the squishy chairs (even if I could get one - have you seen how dirty there are?) I just browse up and down each isle, like sonar searching the bottom of the ocean floor for hidden treasure.

I eventually leave with a big shopping bag of assorted books in varying new topics, hope no one is home and go hide and read my guilty little pleasures.

Wal*Mart is Hell

Wal*Mart is always hell, but Wal*Mart pre & post holiday is particularly full of brimstone. Strange people do strange things in Wal*Mart. Here are some of the people I encountered recently and some I encounter frequently while trying to gather my great value groceries :

Drunken Holiday Man - Drunken Holiday Man was hunkered down in the deodorant aisle next to his shopping cart thus blocking the entire aisle. Drunken Holiday Man cussed Patrick* out for pushing his cart over a little bit so he could reach an item on the shelf. Too bad D.H.M was a father because his poor 9 year old daughter was slapping at him and begging him to shut up. We wheeled our cart past that spot about 10 minutes later and the guy was STILL there. Just hanging out with the deodorant.

The Talker A.K.A. "Beluga Whale Girl" - Okay, maybe this is a mean nickname, but you just have to see for yourself. Her nickname comes from her giant noggin' that reminds us of that blubbery clump on top of a Beluga Whale's head and her body is kinda shaped like a piece of chewed bubble gum. Beluga Whale Girl used to work at Subway (which I frequent) and boy, is she a TALKER! You know, the type that sucks up 1/2 an hour with boring, lame conversation. On like, 4 occassions in a row, I've had the misfortune of running into Beluga Whale Girl in the frozen food section of Wal*Mart. It's ALWAYS in the frozen foods on the same aisle. And she'll see me and/or Patrick from a distance and must strike up a dull conversation about somthing mundane that we discussed like a gazillion years ago when we had a little friendly conversation while she made our sandwichs. She just doesn't know when to cut the chit-chat and MOVE ON.

Valued Customers - This is the code word for those annoying people who use those motorized shopping carts. Some days it looks like a scene from Murderball in there. Granny can be hell on wheels. Last week, I was picking up a salad & tomato when granny got caught on the edge of a fruit kiosk. She was cutting her corners too short. AND what about these people that look totally able-bodied? I swear that some of them are just freakin' fat and lazy and don't want to walk. Those are the ones that piss me off.

Family Reunion - This is the group of people that comes in after church on Sunday. It is inevitable that they have at least 3 children with them and meet a cousin with at least 3 children as well. Then, other cousins, aunts, uncles, you name it join the growing crowd at the end of the aisle you need to go down. This can be quite frustrating because they totally ignore you and 1/2 of them are carrying on coversation with a relative in the store AND someone on a cell phone as well.

The Co-Worker - You always run into someone you work with when you decided to run into Wal*Mart for a couple of quick items. And it never fails that you've just gotten done at the gym or you just didn't put on make up that day. So, the coworker sees the "Real you". The "real me" really isn't so different from the "work me", but I really don't like to see co-workers outside of the 8-5 grind. I see enough of them as it is, let's skip the uncomfortable "oh hey there....you're here too, huh?" chit-chat and just ignore one another, eh?

The Label Reader - The label reader is always the one that is in the way. They stop and read every drop of information on the package and get so absorbed into their reading material that they totally forget that the store is filled with hundreds of other people that might want to pick up a can of soup or two as well. They never park their cart in a convenient location - no. They leave it smack in the middle of the aisle so that you and your cart have no choice but to wait for them to decide if the nutritional value of that product is on target for them.


*Patrick, for those of your who don't know, is my main squeeze.